{"id":5761,"date":"2012-03-24T12:02:22","date_gmt":"2012-03-24T04:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/?p=5761"},"modified":"2012-03-24T22:27:35","modified_gmt":"2012-03-24T14:27:35","slug":"eight-weeks-of-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/2012\/03\/24\/eight-weeks-of-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Eight weeks of parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-attachment-id=\"5789\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/2012\/03\/24\/eight-weeks-of-parenting\/dscf7834\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nick.onetwenty.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/DSCF7834.jpg?fit=500%2C379&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,379\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;3&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;FinePix S100FS&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1332006292&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;9.4&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;400&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.0035714285714286&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Swinging in the hammock, so much fun\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nick.onetwenty.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/DSCF7834.jpg?fit=300%2C227&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nick.onetwenty.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/DSCF7834.jpg?fit=500%2C379&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-5789\" title=\"DSCF7834\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nick.onetwenty.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/DSCF7834.jpg?resize=500%2C379\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"379\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nick.onetwenty.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/DSCF7834.jpg?w=500&amp;ssl=1 500w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nick.onetwenty.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/DSCF7834.jpg?w=300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nick.onetwenty.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/DSCF7834.jpg?w=395&amp;ssl=1 395w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 85vw, 500px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/>It&#8217;s been eight weeks since Amelia arrived, and I&#8217;ve been pretty quiet online as a result. Partly due to lack of time, but also due to lack of interest. I feel more engrossed in my day-to-day life and less interested in the latest news or social gossip. I spend a lot of time reflecting on how things are going, and it all feels a bit too personal to flippantly share.<\/p>\n<p>That being said, everything is occuring so quickly and I don&#8217;t want to forget what&#8217;s been happening (hence this post). I also wanted to write something for other people who may be wondering what it&#8217;s like to have a newborn. For us, it went something like this:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Week 1<\/strong>: Mostly staying in hospital, learning from the midwives.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Week 2<\/strong>: Sometimes wondering if we made the right decision to have a baby.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Week 3<\/strong>: Enjoying family time. Not wanting to go back to work just yet.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Week 4<\/strong>: Back at work. Heidi and I are stressed, and need to talk to each other a lot.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Week 5<\/strong>: Amelia is very <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Baby_colic\">colicky<\/a> in the evenings. It&#8217;s difficult to bear.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Week 6<\/strong>: Feels like Amelia has doubled in size and is much more robust.<strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Week 7<\/strong>: Her colic is actually milk protein intolerance. Heidi is on dairy exclusion.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Week 8<\/strong>: Amelia is smiling and giggling and sleeping well. It&#8217;s very nice.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Staying at the hospital was fantastic. Although Heidi got pretty cabin-fevery towards the end. It was a very supporting environment, a bit like a training camp for new parents. Surprisingly (to me), most of the midwives had rather different opinions on child-rearing. I can imagine that some people would find that frustrating, but I saw it as reinforcement that how to take care of an infant is very subjective and that we should just choose what works for us.<\/p>\n<p>My general parenting philosophy has been rooted in pragmatism. Some key points:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Feed her when she is hungry. Let her sleep when she is tired.<\/li>\n<li>Infants don&#8217;t play mind games. If they are complaining there is a reason.<\/li>\n<li>Infants don&#8217;t play mind games. Don&#8217;t take anything personally.<\/li>\n<li>Togetherness is important. Sleep in the same room. Hang out a lot.<\/li>\n<li>Parent as a team. Talk openly, make decisions together, support each other.<\/li>\n<li>The baby&#8217;s needs trump the wants and convenience of others.<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s no right way to parent. Just be conscientious and diligent.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Our early concerns about whether we made the right decision to have a baby were ostensibly due to the immediate dramatic change in lifestyle and appreciation for the amount of responsibility parenthood entails for such a long period of time. I imagine that it&#8217;s a natural response, and not something to feel guilty about.<\/p>\n<p>An unexpected outcome of becoming a father is that I&#8217;m now a lot more assertive. I think it comes from the imperative to meet Amelia&#8217;s (and our) needs over someone else&#8217;s wants, expectations, or convenience. Here are some examples of things I&#8217;m now very happy to say to anyone:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Don&#8217;t try to play with her, she&#8217;s asleep.<\/li>\n<li>That can wait, I&#8217;m tending to the baby.<\/li>\n<li>Goodbye. (Followed by hanging up immediately)<\/li>\n<li><strong>No<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It&#8217;s been a change for us, since we&#8217;re usually rather accommodating. Overall, I think it&#8217;s very positive. Potential social unease and awkwardness tends to be mitigated as early as possible, and my business engagements have become more focused streamlined. I don&#8217;t want to waste time!<\/p>\n<p>Another unexpected change has been the realisation that Heidi and I still have a lot to learn about ourselves and each other. Being a parent poses a lot of challenges and exposes personal characteristics that have never been tested or visible. I feel that we&#8217;re becoming better people, or at least a better partnership.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been eight weeks since Amelia arrived, and I&#8217;ve been pretty quiet online as a result. Partly due to lack of time, but also due to lack of interest. I feel more engrossed in my day-to-day life and less interested in the latest news or social gossip. I spend a lot of time reflecting on &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/2012\/03\/24\/eight-weeks-of-parenting\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Eight weeks of parenting&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paLsRH-1uV","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5761"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/67"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5761"}],"version-history":[{"count":40,"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5761\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5802,"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5761\/revisions\/5802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5761"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5761"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nick.onetwenty.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5761"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}