Month: September 2011

I’ve been thinking a lot about partnerships recently.

I’m involved in two major partnerships: a life partnership with Heidi, and a professional partnership with Minh. I feel that it’s vitally important for each partnership to act as an inseparable atomic unit (in regards to its own area), conducting its activities with the best interests of the individual partners in mind.

Heidi and I don’t make major life decisions alone, we have no independent personal finances, and we don’t keep secrets from each other. I really can’t imagine sharing my life with someone in other way.

Likewise, Minh and I make all our professional decisions together, we bill as a single entity, and we have complete professional disclosure. Our income is split down the middle, and we try to match each other’s time commitment. I know that there are other ways to go about business, but this suits me to a tee.

There’s something deeply fulfilling about partnership. You have to trust in the other person completely, and you feel a great deal of responsibility to ensure that you are taking care of them to the best of your ability.

That level of trust and responsibility are fairly difficult to accept at first. In both partnerships, we initially gravitated towards making things perfectly equal: splitting expenses, splitting the billable work, taking turns doing chores. Simply trying to feel that everything is undertaken in the same measure.

That sort of equality is superficial, unrepresentative, and (for all intents and purposes) impossible to balance. The beauty and value of good partnerships are that the partners are different and incomparable. Each contributes in unique and immeasurable ways, and I feel that you’re better off pursuing partnerships in which both are committed and not worried about quantifying value.

It may be difficult to do, but I’ve found that the sooner you think of yourself as one entity and the sooner that you stop keeping score, the sooner your partnership will flourish and the happier and more successful you will be.

But you know, YMMV.

“My wife is pregnant.” Just reading those words aloud makes me feel… very grown up I suppose… and happy obviously… and reflective.

Heidi fell pregnant around 20 weeks ago, but we didn’t say much about it to anyone outside of family and close friends. We wanted to wait until the initial anatomy scans to be sure that the pregnancy was viable.

Now everything is looking good. Ten fingers, ten toes, good growth, all normal. I think that she looks just like me, but Heidi doesn’t seem so convinced yet.

Expecting a baby has motivated me to consider what they may pick-up from my day-to-day interactions. I figure that you can tell a child how to behave all you want, but they will ultimately learn by watching you.

I hope she learns to be bold, focussed, respectful, assertive, healthy, considerate, and happy. I think we’re pretty close to that in our lives… although we could do with getting rid of some boxes, and organising our meals better.

Beyond that I think about what sort of life I want her to have. Living in different places helps you become well-rounded. I think “maybe we should plan for relocation after a few years”… and then I stop thinking so much.

We’re so fortunate that we’re able to be concerned about such minor things. She’ll have a home and parents that love her. She’ll be fine.